


Paradise by the Fishtank Lights

by metal_dog5



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Challenge Response, Deliberate Badfic, Intentionally Bad Spelling & Grammar, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-09-15
Updated: 1999-09-15
Packaged: 2019-02-12 03:29:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12950349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metal_dog5/pseuds/metal_dog5
Summary: Written for the TERMA badfic challenge.  This story contains deliberate misspellings, poor SPAG, and truly  horrible dialogue.WARNING: This is not just a Badfic—it's also a :::shudder::: songfic. You have been warned.2nd WARNING: Some of the terminology contained withing this story may only have ever been heard before by a very small group of people. So if it seems really strange, now you know why.





	Paradise by the Fishtank Lights

**Friday.  
9:11 pm**

The apartment was dark. Mulder hadn't turned the lights on. He was sitting on his leather sofa. He only had the light of his fishtank to light the room. Not even the the flickering of a porn movie was lighting the room. The light from the fishtank gave everything a blue hue, because it was a uv light which may or may not be good for fich.

Moulder was sitting and thinking. Just about stuff. He wanted to eat some food, but all he had in the fridge was a tomato and he couldn't see it because he was occasionally red-green colourblind, so he thought it was a rock.

Suddenly the front door slammed open. A leather clad figure entered the room.

"Crycheque, what the fuck are you doing here, you ratbastard?" Molder grated out.

"I want to tell you something fox" Alex reached inside his jacket. Mulder pulled his gun out and said don't you move. I don't want you hear. But fox you've got two listen to me sighed Alex.

"okay you can have a minute of my time" Mulder sat back down on the sofa. Krycheck paced back and fourth, emerald green eyes flashing in the dim light.

"Look, Murder, this is difficult for me to say, bit I love you."

"You dont no the meaning of love!! You killed my father!"

"I do! I do! Hear I'll prove it to you. Listen to this song I brung over." With that Krycek pulled out a jewel case from his jacket and took the cd out. He put it in molder's cd player and pressed play. Music filled the room.

'For all those times you stood by me For all the truth that you made me see For all the joy you brought to my life For all the wrong th-'

"Oops wrong track, just a minuet."

_'Internal combustion_  
_Multiple personalities Terror inside of me A mask of silent agony_  
_Curse the falling rain_  
_The vortex of pain_  
_A medieval as Merlin_  
_A pact for power was made Lucifer in transition It's time the price was paid_  
_Scorching the domain_  
_The vortex of pain_  
_A telestic message_

_Written in torment Howl out dirges Like the horns of Jericho Distorted faces Writhing in rage Walls of purgatory Tumble down Endless death The jewels of a crown'_

Mulder's eyes were filled with tears. His bottom lip was quivering like a jellyfish. "Oh alex, you do love me!. Let me put my throbbing manmeat up your chocolate highway."

"Sure Molder! I want to feel you empty you're mancream into me." And with that they striped off they're clothes. As they drew closer to each other the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Molder. Its the Lonegunmen here. We want to warn you. There have been sitings of a one armed assas—"

"Look guys I'm busy at the moment. I'm about to get some." And with that he dropped the phone back in the cradle. "Where were we?"

The to men drew close to each other. Their hard tools pointing straight up and oozing precum. Mulder reached forward with his lips and kissed Krychek. He pushed his tonge into his mouth and swirled it around, tasting everything in his mouth. Kryckek gave Molder the feeling of his tounge in his mouth too. ANd then there tongues met in, twinning around each other like a pair of mating snakes, making them both week in the knees. They drew apart breathless from the kiss. Wow they both thought.

Mulder ran his hand over Alexes throbbing member, catching all the precome. He sank his fingers deep into his waiting love channel, scissoring them to make for an easy entree. "Ohh fox that feels so good. Especially when you hit my pleasure button like that!" Krycek's body was quivering with anticipation.

And then Muldar said "On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the fox with the red roses?"

"Will he offer me his mouth?" Krycek asked

"Yes."

"Will he offer me his teeth?"

"Yes."

"Will he offer me his jaws?"

"Yes."

"Will he offer me his hunger?"

"Yes."

"Again, will he offer me his hunger?"

"Yes!" Mulder answered more firmly.

"Yes." Alex whispered

"On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the fox with the red roses?"

"Yes."

"I bet you say that to all the boys!"

Mulder spun Alex around and proceeded to deepthroat him, while fondling his nutsack. Alexes hands clenched in Muldar's hair, pulling it hard. Mulder once again began to probe his winking puckered starfish of love with his fingers.

Alex stayed Mulder's hand. There was something he just had to ask. "Stop right there! I gotta know right now! Before we go any further, do you love me? Will you love me forever? Do you need me? Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life? Will you take me away and will you make me your—"

"Shut up! I love you alright! Now can we have sex?"

"Not sex. Rumpy pumpy!"

"Sex, fucking, rumpy pumpy, whatever... All I now is that it's time for you to ride my weeping manpole. All aboard!" With that Alex jumped onto Mulder's lap emedding his rod right to the root. They road each other like it was never going to happen again. Mulder thought Alex felt like a hot tight fist gripping his entire length. Krychek thought Fox felt huge, thick and wide, and great fun to slide up and down on. He could feel his eminent organism building up.

"OoohoooOOhhoohOOOHHHOOOHHFOOXFOXFOXloveuloveufoxooohhhoohhhh...ahhh." His sphincter muscles clenching and uncleching around Mulder's throbbing cock.

"OoohoooOOhhoohOOOHHHOOOHHYESYESYESALEXFUCKINGYESalexyesluvuohhohohhohh...yes." He looked into the green eyes staring at him. "Want to do it again?" "What do you think?" So they did. On the couch. On the floor. On the coffee table. On the kitchen floor, against the fridge. On the dining table. On each chair. In the bathroom, on the floor, in the shower (several times), leaning over the sink so they could watch in the mirror. Back in the bedroom for at least ten rounds of multiple orgasms, and then they fell asleep in each others arms after whispering there declarations of love.

 

**Saturday.  
9:44 am**

Suddenly the front dor burst open. In came the firey haired Special Agent Scully brandishing a cd. "Mulder, you have to listen to this! It will tell you just how I feel about you." And with that she put her cd into the machine and pressed play. The room once agin filled with the sounds fo singing.

'Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you That is how I know you go on Far across the distance And spaces between us You have come to show you go on Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on Once more, you open the door And you're here in my heart And my heart will go on and on Love can touch us one time And last for a lifetime And never let go till we're gone Love was—'

The sound of a single gunshot echoed around the room. "Whaddya do that for?" Muldar asked Krycek. "I've only just made the final payment on the player!"

ens...

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: It was at this point Alex, dragging a handcuffed and gagged Mulder behind him, informed me he had had  _enough_  of this depravity, and that he was going away for a while. A long while. Possibly never to return. So, if he never comes back to me.... he's having too much fun with Mulder
> 
> Songs regretfully massacared (in order of appearance): Vortex, Megadeth: Cryptic Writings You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth, Meatloaf: Bat Out of Hell Paradise By The Dashboard Light, Meatloaf: Bat Out of Hell
> 
> Song willingly sacrificed: Because You Loved Me, Celine Dion. My Heart Will Go On, Celine Dion.


End file.
